Mother’s Day—A Celebration of the Contribution of Women to the World

Debra Tolman

A post from In Kind Magazine says this of today: “On a holiday that’s ostensibly only about mothers, it feels important to celebrate the maternal, period. The true beauty and power of mothering go far beyond mother-and-child. It’s seen in how we mother our friends, siblings, and colleagues. So to anyone who feels like this holiday isn’t about them (and especially those who feel sorrow or pain at that fact), we see you. We celebrate you and the MATERNAL ENERGY you give to the world.” (In Kind Magazine, May 2024)

This holiday evokes a wide spectrum of emotions—joy, gratitude, sorrow, disappointment. And yet it represents something very important we all have in common. We each have a mother! A mother who influenced us or not, a mother who tried or didn’t, a mother who helped or hurt. What we do with the influence she had on our lives now lies with us. Will we be stronger because of her or even in spite of her? How will we decide to show up in life? If you truly trust in God’s plan for you, then you know He will bring all things together for your good—that includes how you were mothered. Your mother brought you the necessary tools to allow you or motivate you to develop and, most importantly, to find God.

It’s important to understand the power and influence of mothers and more broadly the power of women, and then again more especially women who are committed and faithful disciples of our Savior Jesus Christ.

In Genesis 2:18, God says he will make a helper suitable for Adam. The Hebrew translation for the word helper or help meet is ezra kenegdo. The word means a helper, aid, strengthener, and specifically means strengthening someone in a way they cannot do for themselves. That word is used 22 times in the Old Testament, and 16 of those times it is how God describes His relationship to Israel. Let that rest on your hearts for a moment. Isn’t it remarkable that the word God uses for His help, He also uses when describing the kind of help offered by His daughters to the world?

Let’s see how some of the social experts of the world describe this unique ability of women to be that kind of helper in the world. This will be a small sampling of the unique gifts all women seem to share. These observations come from Helen Fischer, a biological anthropologist. I will share just three of her findings.

1. Women gather details somewhat differently than men. Women integrate more details faster and arrange these bits of data into more complex patterns. As they make decisions, women tend to weigh more variables, consider more options, and see a wider array of possible solutions. Women tend to generalize, to synthesize, to take a broader, more holistic, more contextual perspective of any issue. This kind of thinking enables them to exercise more intuition

2. An exceptional female talent is the ability to find the right word rapidly. Women’s verbal skills begin to emerge in early childhood. All women share this verbal fluency no matter where they come from—most likely because women’s verbal aptitudes are associated with gender differences in the brain, as well as the female hormone, estrogen. Women are born to talk—a feminine acuity that probably evolved to enable ancestral women to comfort, cajole, and educate their little ones, chastise, even ostracize group members who failed to meet their responsibilities, reward those who did, and maintain harmony in the community. Words were women’s tools. Their words still sway minds and hearts.

3. Along with women’s executive social skills are their remarkable facilities for networking, collaboration, empathy, inclusion, and sharing power. Men tend to cast themselves within hierarchies and view power as rank and status; women, on the other hand, form cliques and regard power as an egalitarian network of supportive connections. These feminine dispositions to work in teams, network, and support others were unquestionably vital to ancestral women who needed to support one another and their children. Today, these traits are still impressive contributions to the contemporary environment. (Helen Fischer, PhD. https://helenfisher.com/the-natural-leadership-talents-of-women/)

It is important to consider the influence these traits carry when combined with a faithful commitment to Jesus Christ. When we allow His grace to be active in our lives our power and influence will not be described in categories—it will be described in the lives affected by that influence.

Understanding the inherent abilities of women, President Russell M. Nelson extended this invitation to women in 2105:

“We need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly. We need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation. We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.” (President Russell M. Nelson, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/10/a-plea-to-my-sisters?lang=eng)

I have spent the last decade pondering what it looks like to have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve. In her we see this ability to weigh more variables, consider more options, and see a wider array of possible solutions. Through direction of the spirit and her inherent priesthood power she had the courage to be the first to step over into the unknown.

In a recent essay authored by Charlotte Wilson, she describes the horrific birth and healing of her second child. She sought understanding by reaching to the collective wisdom of women from the heavens. She says this of Eve, “Seeking Eve opened my heart to the divine feminine and unlocked spiritual access that had never been taught or explained to me. Connecting with Eve filled me with conviction, vision, and purpose. She taught me to take ownership of my spirituality and that my access to my Heavenly Parents is mine alone to claim.” (Charlotte Wilson, https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/p/an-expanse-of-light-and-memory)

We can look to women throughout history as we reach for understanding about our own power and influence. What might it look like to have the courage and vision of mother Eve? What might it look like to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers?

It might look like Abigail who courageously evaluated the dire situation of her family and household with the armies of David bearing down on them because her husband refused them food and drink, Abigail quickly and decisively prepares a feast and rides out with her servants to meet David. She, in a type and shadow of the Savior, saves her household and David in the process. She persuades him to stand down and then says, “When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself.” David responded, “Praise be to the Lord the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day.” (1 Samuel 25)

Perhaps it looks like Deborah, the prophetess and judge, who through her fierce loyalty to God and her people, leads her small band of Israelites to victory over a large Canaanite army. (Judges 4)

Perhaps it looks like Mother Mary, who seeks greater understanding of God’s direction for her. Through careful listening and expanded knowledge she submits to God’s will knowing full well that this would be a path of indescribable pain and suffering. And through all of the uncertainty that filled her entire life, she still sang the praises of her God. “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things, but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.” (Luke 1)

Perhaps it looks like the women who filled with hope rather than despair went to the tomb every morning to dress the body of their Savior. It might look like Mary, who in resilience and determination waited by the tomb with the faith that He would do what He promised. (Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20)

Perhaps it looks like the women who sacrificed money and their safety to support and join the Camp of Israel. We don’t talk about the women who marched. There were more than 15 who courageously took up the call of the prophet to defend the Saints. They understood that every step they took toward Jackson County placed them in more and more danger. And yet they went on determined to keep fear at bay through their faith and conviction to their cause. (Andrea G. Radke, We Also Marched: The Women and Children of Zion's Camp, 1834, https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3378&context=byusq)

These are big bold examples, and our influence and energy doesn’t always have to show up that way. But many times we shortchange ourselves, we diminish our contribution. We doubt the power we receive through our devotion and loyalty to the Savior. We might shrink in the face of something public or taking a stand for righteousness when it isn’t popular or even appreciated. But the call to discipleship requires that we show up like Mother Eve.

The maternal energy we spoke about earlier, coupled with the grace of the Savior, emboldens and enlightens women of all ages and all cultures. We all have the opportunity to find our place, to claim our discipleship, to sacrifice for the Savior’s cause.

We have a plaque hanging in our home. It is part of a larger poem describing female influence.

“I dined with the greats of God’s army. I made their meals and tied their shoes. Today, I walked with greatness and when they were tired, I carried them. I have poured myself out for the cause today. Today I was the barrier between evil and innocence. I was the gatekeeper watching over the hope of mankind and no intruder trespassed. There is not an hour of day or night when I turn from my post. The fierceness of my love is unmatched on earth.” (Christianna Reed Maas, https://deeproets.wordpress.com/tag/motherhood/)

My fellow sisters, praise to you for your strength, your influence, your defense of the Savior. I invite you to never turn from your post. I invite you to be fierce—a fierce influence and power for good in a world crying out for help.