Mothering Each Other

JESSICA TOLMAN TAYLOR

Motherhood, for one reason or another, is one of those emotionally charged topics. I really thought writing this would be easy, but it turns out it was trickier than I anticipated. I grew up in a social climate, and even more so, a church climate, where motherhood was idealized; being a mother was the highest and holiest role I could hope to fulfill in this lifetime. While I agree that it is the most important thing I will do in my life, this construct of motherhood as a role suggests that there is a particular and correct way of doing it. A role has defined expectations and clear ways to measure success and failure. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “mom guilt.” This is a real and painful thing for every mom I know. The frequent feeling that you’re doing it wrong, or you should have done it differently, or that you’re ruining this most important job. Dr. Julie Hanks said, “Motherhood is one of the most valuable endeavors there is. But idealizing and valuing are not the same thing. Valuing means to consider something to be significant, while idealizing means to regard something as perfect or better than reality.” (Dr. Julie Hanks, February 2025.) There are no ideal mothers. Just women who are doing their best. And sometimes they're at their worst. And sometimes just mediocre. Because we’re human. Dr. Hanks suggests that it would be more helpful to think of motherhood as a relationship rather than a role. Where the measurement of our success is our efforts at connection. I love that.

In this most recent conference, Sister Tamara Runia shared much of what has been on my heart the last few years. It’s what God spoke to me when I was called to the young women and asked what the most important thing I could communicate to them was. The answer was that I needed to help them know and understand their value. Sister Runia said, “Your worth isn’t tied to obedience.” Or, I would add, your mothering or anything else. “ Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience brings blessings; that is true. But worth isn’t one of them. Your worth is always “great in the sight of God,” no matter where your decisions have taken you.” (Sister Tamara W. Runia, General Conference, April 2025.)

I think if we better understood and operated with the sure knowledge that we are worthy and valuable regardless of our mistakes and missteps, we would have so much more power to accomplish the things we set out to do. Our relationships as women and covenant keepers, are suffused with our priesthood power. Richard Bushman said, “The priesthood had one purpose in every age: exaltation. Rather than being a governmental hierarchy or a corporate organization, the priesthood held the sacral power to bring people into the presence of God.” (Richard Lyman Bushman, Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling, New York: Knopf, 2005, 205.) We often talk about the hierarchical priesthood concerned with church administration. We do not often discuss the eternal familial priesthood in which women and men are full partners having received priesthood power through their temple covenants. This is the power we wield as women, power from our Heavenly Parents to help their children return to them and gain exaltation. It’s a manifestation of the atonement of Jesus Christ, and it is crucial to the success of the plan of happiness. It has been given to us, both women and men, so that we can take part in our Heavenly Parents’ work here on the earth. In that way, bringing a life into this world is an act of priesthood power. And every act following that in which we influence one of God’s children along the path to salvation is also an act of priesthood power. Not just as mothers to our physical children if we have them, but to all of God’s children.

I have spoken several times about the many people who have lifted and cared for my family in this ward. When I was single with five little people at home, the women in this ward were my strength. They lifted my tired arms, held my broken heart and my babies, and helped me put the pieces of my life back together. Despite that being one of the most trying times of my life, I look back on those years with extreme fondness and gratitude. My children and I were witnesses to the power of God being used to strengthen us. I’m going to share some of those powerful priesthood acts with you. I have chosen a few that were representative of this experience, but there are so many that I simply would not have the time to list them all, so please know that if you do not hear yourself in this list, I know and love and appreciate each of you who served me.

Four women took turns bringing my family dinner every Thursday.

Four other women took turns babysitting Kate every Friday so I could have a morning to myself to run errands or go to the temple.

One woman came to my house every Wednesday night and played with my littles and put them to bed.

One woman (this did involve a man) and her family bought and put up Christmas lights on my house.

One woman took me to urgent care at a moment’s notice and watched my children while I was there.

One woman frequently showed up and grabbed my littles to take them to her house to bake cookies or muffins.

One woman dropped off sugar cookies and frosting so that when I needed it, I would have something fun to entertain my kids.

One woman for my first Mother’s Day alone bought a shirt and had each of my children over to her house to put their handprints on it with the saying “Best Mom Hands Down.” I proudly wore it to church that day.

One woman taught my girls piano lessons for free.

One woman paid for Audrey’s preschool.

This list could grow to five times that long. There were so many other women who did so many other things to bless my family. I was mothered by women in my close proximity whose priesthood power and discipleship of the Savior were very palpable in my life. I have five daughters. What an incredible view they got into the power and influence women have as these women exercised their priesthood power on our behalf.

I testify that priesthood power held by women is the same power held by men. We are not ordained to a priesthood office, but the power is the same. And our Heavenly Parents desire and expect that we will wield this power in our homes, our ward, and our community to bring their children to a knowledge of the Savior and to guide them along the path to exaltation. I testify that each of you is doing just that. You’re not perfect. You’re not expected to be.

In a recent Instagram post, President Emily Freeman wrote:

“I hope you know just how important you are. Those of you who are raising up your own little ones, and those who spend a significant amount of time every day raising up the ones who aren’t your own."

I watch how you bend low and lift up. How you see the wounds and speak healing words. In the dark moments, I see you soothing the fears.

You are the cheerleader, the encourager, the brave maker. Yours is the language of bedtime prayers, everyday sermons, and lullabies. Magic in the small moments. Sacred sacrifices. They are learning to love Jesus Christ because you do.”

Sisters, I pray that you will feel the love of the Savior and our Heavenly Parents today and every day as you move forward with the knowledge of your power and value as a woman. I love each of you, and I am so grateful God allowed our paths to cross so that I could be tutored and blessed by you.

Jessica Tolman Taylor grew up in Arizona and continues to call the desert home. She has five daughters who are her best work and greatest joy.

Jessica received a bachelor’s degree from Brigham Young University and master’s degree from Arizona State University in Communication Disorders. She has been a practicing speech language pathologist for 25 years in a variety of settings. She currently works at an elementary school near her home. She is passionate about her work with kids, and her family loves her funny work stories.

She loves reading, taking baths, napping, playing piano, and singing. Her favorite activity is singing with all of her daughters.